Monday, November 03, 2008
My nice grandmother died unexpectedly in January 1998. I got home from work and there was a message from my sister Susan asking me to call. Nobody was answering the phone at my sisters' or my mother's house- eventually I called my Aunt Janell and she was the one to tell me.
My grandmother's personality is hard to describe. She seemed unemotional to me, except she had a nervous breakdown after my grandfather died- all of her hair fell out. She was thrifty, and read a lot, and had a few values that we disagreed on. Once I was mean to her and told her that since she had never met a Communist she should just shut up about them. She always voted Republican and was her township treasurer for 30 years, always getting the most votes. She would be mortified to know that I have never voted Republican in a presidential election.
When I was in college she gave me $1000 when my student aid was cut and my father was trying to force me to drop out and return home to be a farmer, because that was what he wanted. My mother called me when he wasn't around and told me to ask grandma, and I did and a check was in the mail that day. She also gave me another $1000 so I could have braces and she was proud of my smile afterwards. When I was in graduate school she sent me another couple thousand so I could have emergency surgery (I didn't have insurance). These three instances helped me more than she would ever know- allowed me to attend school, gave me a better self image, and rescued me from a perilous situation. She did similar things for other family members.
In return I always came and stayed with her for several days, several times of the year. While I was there I waited on her and we did things she liked to do- walk through the grocery store, go to the Salvation Army looking for bargains (I still have the wool overcoat she bought me for $10, she loved that it was so inexpensive). I took her to the grocery store the last time I stayed with her and bought her a bottle of wine, because my uncle wouldn't let her have any. She got pretty drunk in front of me, and I was glad she enjoyed herself.
She's been gone for 10 years and I miss her and I still have her phone number memorized but it wouldn't do any good to call her and chat.
I wish I could have been steely enough to give Grandma F's eulogy at her funeral, because the preacher who gave it didn't know anything about her. I listened to Barack Obama talk briefly about his grandmother at a campaign event, and wished I was as eloquent as he was.
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My grandmother's personality is hard to describe. She seemed unemotional to me, except she had a nervous breakdown after my grandfather died- all of her hair fell out. She was thrifty, and read a lot, and had a few values that we disagreed on. Once I was mean to her and told her that since she had never met a Communist she should just shut up about them. She always voted Republican and was her township treasurer for 30 years, always getting the most votes. She would be mortified to know that I have never voted Republican in a presidential election.
When I was in college she gave me $1000 when my student aid was cut and my father was trying to force me to drop out and return home to be a farmer, because that was what he wanted. My mother called me when he wasn't around and told me to ask grandma, and I did and a check was in the mail that day. She also gave me another $1000 so I could have braces and she was proud of my smile afterwards. When I was in graduate school she sent me another couple thousand so I could have emergency surgery (I didn't have insurance). These three instances helped me more than she would ever know- allowed me to attend school, gave me a better self image, and rescued me from a perilous situation. She did similar things for other family members.
In return I always came and stayed with her for several days, several times of the year. While I was there I waited on her and we did things she liked to do- walk through the grocery store, go to the Salvation Army looking for bargains (I still have the wool overcoat she bought me for $10, she loved that it was so inexpensive). I took her to the grocery store the last time I stayed with her and bought her a bottle of wine, because my uncle wouldn't let her have any. She got pretty drunk in front of me, and I was glad she enjoyed herself.
She's been gone for 10 years and I miss her and I still have her phone number memorized but it wouldn't do any good to call her and chat.
I wish I could have been steely enough to give Grandma F's eulogy at her funeral, because the preacher who gave it didn't know anything about her. I listened to Barack Obama talk briefly about his grandmother at a campaign event, and wished I was as eloquent as he was.
