Homer'sWorld

I watched a few Betty Butterfield videos this morning. She is so calming! She gives me strength! I hope she finds the right church someday.

Why the need for serenity? Oh Lord, I made a mistake on my time sheet! Our office manager, as usual, sent me a nasty, confusing email. I drove across town, fevered head making my vision quite blurry, and fixed that timesheet. But of course I was half hallucinating and made a second mistake. From the email I got this morning, you'd think I'd committed genocide or drowned cute puppies or gave a contribution to Tommy Delay's political action committee! Who knew that people from Nebraska could be so Satan-like? (Mark excepted, of course).

Thank goodness it is Friday.

This morning's random thoughts...

Who was the disease vector at work? I dunno, but I woke up this morning with a sore throat and the supplementary side effects of a cold.

Joey cat is so cute. My shower drips a small amount of water and she likes to sit there and let the water splat on top of her head. That just seems strange.

My 1999 Saturn has developed old car smell.

I've just discovered my great-great-great grandfather's sister was a slut.

They should have a reality show called "The Gaymazing Race." Teams (twinks, circuit queens, bears, FTM & MTF, lipstick lesbians, models [they always have to have a model team], bike dykes, and so) could race around the world to gay destinations (SF, Mykonos, my bedroom) and perform exciting tasks (fisting, getting pierced, making out with Homer) with a grand prize of a date with Rick Santorum. I discussed this with Abe and David G. last night and we decided that it would be an excellent show.

Is it time for a nap?

Not to be morbid, but I was thinking about how people kick the bucket today. Back in 1870, a quarter of the people who died in Tucson were killed by Indians, according to the mortality census taken that year. The Apaches were trying to defend themselves and the accounts are strangely similar to the insurgent attacks in Iraq. The same records indicate that many more people, mostly children, were busy dying from small pox.

One reason I've never been so keen on passing my own genes on is the family history of health problems. Diabetes, heart attacks, and strokes are pretty strong in my family. Cancer is rather rare. I somehow have high cholesterol, despite being a vegetarian for 22 years, I guess it is a genetic thing.

I went through my records and looked at the cause of death for my direct ancestors. I'm guessing I'll have heart problems some time in the future. Hopefully I'll keel over at the same exact moment I've spent all of my retirement funds. Of course in 30 years those 401K dollars will probably be just enough to buy a big box of Depends and nothing else.

Father Lee- heart attack at 64 (stroke, diabetes)
Mother Carolyn- still alive at 73 (diabetes)
Grandpa Harold- heart attack at 67
Grandma Anna- old age at 87, dementia
Grandpa Morrell- heart attack at 65
Grandma Alice- heart failure at 76
Great grandpa Philip- peritonitis (blood infection) at 33
Great grandma Grace- stomach cancer at 54
Great grandpa Colonel- old age at 87, dementia
Great grandma Maybelle- heart failure at 64, diabetes
Great grandpa Sheldon- heart attack or stroke at 61
Great grandma Faith- old age at 85
Great grandpa Ernest- pneumonia and tuberculosis at 56
Great grandma Blanche- jaundice at 55 (perhaps diabetes?)


Grandpa Harold


Great grandpa Colonel


Great grandpa Sheldon

Gratuitous pussy photo.

Joey.

Okay so I slept in and took a nap and worked on my book and exchanged emails with BrettCajun and chatted with Brian and Jimbo and went to Bookmans and no they didn't take many of my trade-ables and then I rented three movies and just watched National Treasure and not sure whether to watch Oklahoma or Meet the Fockers next.

I'm not going to the big gay benefit tonight because after I paid my bills I didn't have enough for the expensive ticket or the new outfit that the big gay benefit would require. I also won't go out tonight because all of the guys in their new outfits will be out and they will ask me why I'm not in a new outfit and why I didn't go to the big gay benefit. It is kinda embarassing to admit that after I pay my bills and put money in my not-money-making 401K I don't have the extra couple hundred bucks for the big gay benefit. But I guess I'm not too embarassed because I'm writing about it here. Anyways, I give them a number of small checks throughout the year and they are always thankful and the director writes very nice thank you notes, which I appreciate more than attending a big gay benefit with probably bad food and worse entertainment. But I wouldn't mind having a nice new outfit. The End.

Tonight I saw Constant Gardener at the theatre. I really enjoyed it, perhaps because I knew absolutely nothing about it. Homer recommends it.

When I was a kid once in a great while we went downtown and watched movies at the State Theater. I remember seeing Apple Dumpling Gang there, and Song of the South (which is hidden away in some Disney vault. Now my mother would sometimes get these weird ideas in her head and one of them was to take us to see Jesus Christ, Superstar when I was nine. That was pretty progressive. I know I'm a real homo because lately I've realized I really like musicals. Who would have guessed?


State Theatre.

Possible reasons why I am a fag:

1). My mother made elaborate outfits for my black fuzzy-haired GI Joe. Surgeon's outfit, a tuxedo, suits, jammies, smoking jackets, etc.
2). In second grade, my mother sent me to school dressed up as a gypsy girl for Halloween.
3). When I was 11 my mother's cow Maggie had her first period and, typical for cows, she jumped on me, humping enthusiastically. I was pushed up against a wall and had to scream for help.
4). My favorite color when I was a child was purple.
5). Cock.
6). The 1970s clone look.
7). Disco music.

What is the reason you became queer or straight?

I have a date with my boyfriend Matthew, who I haven't seen since May or so. As Jimbo would say, "He's dreamy!" Here's a picture I took during our last date.



I was a little worried because whenever I called his cell phone, it kept saying "out of range." I thought maybe I had Lost the right number, but finally he called and said he'd be in my living room at 7:00 PM tonight. Sigh. Dreams do come true.

I am so over crybaby Christian conservatives whining about "traditional marriage" and "intelligent design." There are no lucid, thoughtful reasons that two fags or two dykes can't get hitched. I well remember the most Christian wedding/freak show I attended. That one didn't last long. I could care less who my fellow Tucsonans get married to. The fact that so many fundamentalist, straight Christians can't keep their minds off of this topic suggests their minds are just fucked-up. Really!

Oh Madge, don't get me going on "Unintelligent Attempt to Enshrine a Specific Christian Origin Myth Design" shite in our schools. Firstly, there is the problem of all of those darn fossils. They keeping popping out of sedimentary rocks like flies land on crap. Lots of them. Secondly, they change through time, you can actually date the rocks (but not marry them!) and follow the great transformation of little shrew-like creatures into modern humans or little mini horses into Clydesdales dragging Budweiser wagons. Sure, there are gaps. But considering that the science of human paleontology is only about 150 years old or so, and has seen most discoveries only since the late 1950s, is it any wonder we haven't found every fricken kind of fossil? Really!

Have the proponents of "Intelligent Shite" really thought about the consequences of removing evolution from our schools? That would certainly fuck up the study of biology. I wonder who would go on to make advances in medical research? Probably scientists in other countries. Let's put the United States on the path to mediocracy because certain people are so insecure about their religious beliefs that they feel compelled to force them on the rest of us. Really!

In other news, check here for an interview with Bob Mould, a fellow blogger and uber-nice (and hot) musician.

It is the little things that count. Like 'walnut meal' in the carrot cake from Trader Joe's. I had invited Patrick, Brady, and Alex over for dinner and the dessert proved noxious to one of the three, luckily just a case of itchiness.


The Dining Room.

This morning, as usual, I get up and hobble around. Something is up with my left heel. Perhaps arthritis, perhaps a bone spur. Whatever it is, it aches and aches. I'm pretty sure it is work-related, I use my left foot to push on the shovel when I dig and the problem started after the excavation I did in June. Or maybe I'm just old and worn out? I don't think so.

I was supposed to go to Phoenix to play pool volleyball, but just didn't feel up to it. Moping ensued. Finally Brady called and told me I was needed at karoake with he and Patrick.


Tres amigos.

I'm pretty sure we made fools of ourselves, but that was exactly what was needed. I'm lucky to have friends that are as goofy as I am.

Can you feel what I see?


I'm waiting for the post-birthday blues to slip away. Early this morning I was jolted awake by a particularly horrible nightmare. While everything seems to be going well, I'm still unsatisfied. I lay in bed this afternoon as the cats crawled over me and wished for something else.

Happy Birthday to me.


Can you tell which picture was taken yesterday?

A long work day. Out the door at 5:45 AM. Back in the door at 5:50 PM. I'm mapping millsites along the San Pedro River. Rock walls to clamber over, steep slopes to climb up. Did you know that desert plants are mostly covered with thorns.

The rain has turned everything green and I was surprised to see wildflowers blooming everywhere. Many varieties I hadn't seem before. More pictures tomorrow.


Lots of little yellow flowers.


My new Amish hat.

I've like animals. I like their funky personalities, the silly things they do, they way they enjoy life.


Joey is ready for her closeup.

It has been heartbreaking to read some of the stories of people being forced to give up their pets in New Orleans. I've donated money to the Humane Society so they could rescue pets and take care of them.

My three cats- Joey, Puff, and their mama Mama Cat- are my babies. I don't know what I would do without them, they have helped me through bad times and made the good times even better. Although I could skip the hairball vomiting.

Well no one got more than one right!

1). Onion rings
2). Nine Inch Nails
3). Eugene
4). Joey

When creativity fails, a picture is in order.


A 100-years-ago or so in Traverse City: Back row (left-right): Francis, John, Emma, Ebenezer, Leland, Colonel, and Harrison. Front row (left to right): Perry, Elijah, Charles, Edna, and Ada.

Multiple choice Sunday:

1. Homer ate ______ today:

A). Onion rings.
B). Beef brisket.
C). Rhubarb pie.
D). All of the above.

2). Homer likes to listen to ____ when he is painting:

A). Blondie.
B). Patsy Cline.
C). Depeche Mode.
D). Nine Inch Nails.

3). _____ is not the name of one of my direct ancestors.

A). Ebenezer.
B). Sheldon.
C). Eugene.
D). Comfort.

4). While I was typing this, ____ threw up on the floor:

A). Puff.
B). Joey.
C). Mama Cat.
D). Homer.

Several people tagged me with this meme, and normally I don't do these but my nose is like a faucet and so other than scrubbing the car I didn't do anything interesting today and so on.

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

1. Take a cake decorating class.
2. Work on an archaeology dig in Turkey.
3). Find Mr. Right.
4). Laugh a lot more.
5). Be debt free.
6). See an elephant in the wild.
7). [censored!!!]

Seven things I can do:

1). Make really good cheesecake.
2). Research family history.
3). Have conversations with just about anyone.
4). Raise friendly kittens.
5). Plastic bead mosaics.
6). Read the dirt well.
7). Host fun parties.

Seven things I cannot do:

1). Swim very well.
2). Kill an animal.
3). Parallel park quickly.
4). Enjoy being really drunk.
5). Find long sleeve shirts which have sleeves that fit correctly.
6). Currently, have the same rights as a heterosexual male.
7). Find a good quality in our present president.

Seven things that I find attractive in a man:

1). Personality, personality, personality.
2). Lots of brains.
3). Furry.
4). Good teeth.
5). Laughs a lot.
6). Flirty.
7). Likes me for what/who I am.

Seven things I say most often:

1). Fabulous!
2). Super!
3). Jesus Fucking Christ.
4). Shut the fuck up, you fucking fuck (whenever I hear George Bush’s voice)
5). Puff, stop that!
6). Yuck (after I step in cat puke)
7). possibly or probably

Seven celebrity crushes:

1). Matthew Fox
2). Jeff Probst
3). Zak Spears
4). Tinman
5). Dogpoet
6). Moby
7). Chris Melloni

I wish i wish i wish this fricking cold would be done. Anyone need some extra mucuous? Cause I'm a ready and willing donor.

Go wish Sam a Happy Birthday. He was the very first blogger I met and let me tell you, he's a charmer. His boyfriend Jeff is a sweet guy too.

Work has suddenly gotten busy again. I'm looking at a bunch of interesting projects. Yeah! A busy Homer is a happy Homer.

Speaking of which, I have to scrub the boring old Saturn tomorrow. It is getting so bad I could perform an archaeological dig inside it.


My brother's windmill.

Cripes, I'm in a bad mood. Post-vacation blahs. A head cold. Watching the news this morning. A stupid decision while I was at home. Not-so-hypothetical question- which is worse? A). Not going to see a close relative because of the expected/usual unpleasantness, or B). the guilt factor when you find out they were 'hurt' because you didn't go see them?

The hurricane is endlessly depressing. So much of the bullshit didn't have to happen. A mixture of imcompetence, racial injustice, and more incompetence. We had a group of people arrive by plane yesterday here in Tucson. Some were forced out of their never-flooded homes at gunpoint by the authorities. Most were forced to leave their pets behind to starve to death. This is America?


Concentrate on the pretty pink flower, everything will be better...

What I did on my summer vacation.
I flew to Chicago and drove my grandparent-sized rental car to Michael R. and David V.'s apartment. We ate out and walked on the beach.

Michael, Homer, and David.

The next morning Michael and I drove north to Traverse City, which took about six hours. Traffic was pretty light, I guess a lot of people were avoiding driving due to the horrible gas prices (highest I saw was $3.89 for regular unleaded).

On Saturday morning Mummy, Susan, Michael, and I drove south to visit my Amish brother.

I gathered Araucana eggs in the chicken coop.


I played with the baby bunnies.

Hello, blog readers!


I scratched the pig's head.


My brother took us on a wagon ride.


Everybody had a nice time.

My mother and sister both have gardens and I ate a lot of tomatoes fresh from the plant, as well as sweet corn and cucumbers. The flowers were very pretty too.

Purple sunflowers.

On Sunday we went to the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore and had a picnic. The dunes are about 450 feet high and very steep. In the picture below hunky rangers are rescuing someone who became ill while attempting to climb back up the dunes.


The dunes.

On the way back we drove past Uncle Fred's house and there he was mowing the yard so we stopped and chatted. Michael got to hear the latest family gossip.

Uncle Fred and Mummy.

On Monday Mike and I went downtown Traverse City and wandered about.


The old State Bank building.


Homer and Michael R. at the Bay.

Yesterday we drove back to Chicago and last night I had dinner with Wade. He is very charming in person and we had interesting intellectual conversations.


Homer and Wade.

I managed to catch the cold Susan had so here I'm back in Tucson sniffling and sneezing. My vacation was way too short.

Mike and I are at Horizon Books in Traverse City. He's looking at books while I type this. The last time we took a trip together was in 1996, when we went to Greece and visited Yorgos. So far on this trip he has had a good time hanging out with my Amish brother, visiting the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes, had a drink at SideTraxx (the local gay bar), and hearing way too much about my somewhat screwed up family. He claims he is having a good time, and I actually believe him. I know I am enjoying myself. I will be posting lots of pictures when I get back to Tucson on Wednesday.

Happy Labor Day! I'm glad the unions worked hard for the eight-hour day and luxuries like paid holidays, vacation days, and sick leave. Big Business fought those things every way they could. Thank goodness they failed and we can lead better lives because of that.

In Chicago, gas prices are in the $3.39 range. Watching the news of New Orleans and it is just shocking to see the wretched response of the United States government. In a little while I'll get in the huge car the rental agency foisted on me and drive north to Traverse City. I'm taking Mike along with me, we haven't taken a trip together since 1996.