Homer'sWorld

Usually I hate New Year's Eve- the day I spend thinking about how things could have been better and so on. Now sure why this year is different, but for some reason for the first time in a long time I'm in an excellent mood on the last day of the year.


End-of-the-year photograph, 2005.

Some goals for 2006:

1). Lots of trips. I'm hoping to go to SF, DC, NYC, Boston, Michigan, Hermosillo [Mexico] and even north to Phoenix to visit Brian. Maybe even a road trip out to LA/San Diego.

2). Lots of interesting work. A busy Homer is a happy Homer.

3). Lots of dates. No more sitting home on Friday nights!

4). Learn some new skills: cake decorating (a useful thing to know), website design, mosaic making.

5). Convince Archerr to get on a plane and come visit my messy house.

Stay tuned to see what happens...

I've done my weekend chores early, except I need to sweep the house. Vince's dog Molly has been staying with Mummy and I this week and she manages to track in dirt. The cats have been surprisingly complacent about the dog, who is elderly and sweet. I thought for sure they would rip her to shreds.

We picked out new fabric for kitchen curtains, big splotchy blue and yellow flowers, the colors match the walls and ceiling perfectly. See, I do have that gay gene for decorating!

What to make for lunch- these are the type of burning questions running through my mind this morning.

A busy evening emulating Martha. I made bread from scratch- well I made dough. It still has to rise again before I bake it.

While it was rising the first time I made 20 holiday cards. Mummy was impressed at the cleverness of a few of them.

Holiday cards.

I think a scanner and printer are in order though, that is on the wish list for 2006. Also one of those dang DVD player thangs. And a boyfriend. And my cats learning to use the toilet and flushing. World peace and a Democratic Senate. A guy can wish, can't he?

I met up with Trachalio at the Cup Cafe and we chatted for a while. I remembered that he likes archaeology and so we walked over to my dig site and I showed him around. He looks hot in a hard hat, in case you were wondering.


Homer and Ryan.

I'm off for most of the week. What to do? I could use a date, hugging Ryan goodbye reminded me, "Men feel good."

Tucson is at elevation 2,500 ft above sea level. Less than an hour away are mountains that are at about 9,300 ft. Mummy and I and Larry and Eric drove up the mountain yesterday to have a picnic.


Larry and Eric.

The drive up is fairly tame, they have straightened the road out and made many pullouts for viewing scenic scenes.


Bark.

The picnic spot we found had large logs to sit on and somehow we didn't make a mess with the messy pomegranate that I brought along.


Burnt tree.

The forest fires of a few years ago have changed the mountains in unexpected ways. Summerhaven is being rebuilt with huge, glitzy new condos replacing the homemade cabins. Larry was upset at the burned trees. I was more interested to see how well the land was healing.


Mummy and Homer.

At the top Eric and I debated the important question, "Spruce or fir?" and never reached a satisfactory conclusion, mainly because there were five huge conifer trees in a row and all were different species. I selected a few pine cones for next year's holiday wreath, and we drove back down the side of the mountain.

Mummy says it doesn't feel like Christmas because it was in the 80s. I say it doesn't feel like it because the family stress, the horror stories about my problem-filled cousins, the snow and ice- are all absent.

However you celebrate (or not celebrate) the holidays, I wish you well. Thanks for stopping by and reading the words I have written and looking at the many silly pictures posted. XOXOXOXO Homer


Holiday Eve 2005 Dinner: Mummy, Jeffrey S., Eric, and Larry.

Mummy broke an antique piece of china today and was worried I'd be upset. Well, what can you do about it once it is broken? It was a small butter dish I purchased at an antique store because I'd once dug up a matching plate in a well in Phoenix.

Instead of lashing out and screeching, which many normal people would do, I made Mummy a lemon meringue pie.



Mummy had wanted one last night but the store didn't have any. So I whipped one up tonight, entailing two trips to Mexican Safeway and two occasions to stare at beefy, blonde Byron. Mummy mentioned that she wanted lots of meringue, so I went all out and made a 5-egg white meringue. It towers above the surprisingly easy-to-make lemon filling. The lemons, by the way, were picked right off a tree and squeezed and peel-grated.

We are waiting for it to cool before slicing into that lightly browned meringue coated pie.

It was lovely today- 76 degrees and sunny. At the dig site, Lisa G. was busy excavating a trench into a big trash-filled pit dating to the early 1900s.


Lisa G. excavating.


Uncovering bottles.


A portion of a large Papago water olla.


Fragment of an English majolica dish.

I have a week off next week. I'm so ready- my hands are dry and rough, cracking along several knuckles. I plan on lying in bed until 6:30 AM every morning. I know, I'm a wild man.

A confession. Russ Feingold is a hottie.


He was the only U.S. Senator to vote against the Patriot Act back in 2001. Today he continues to defend our rights while somehow continuing to rank high on the hottie scale.

I get distracted when I see him on the telly.

Another topic- I am so behind on Holiday cards. I've gotten some lovely cards from hot, hot, hot bloggers. They will have to wait until after the holiday before I get versatile and return the favor!

A decisive win for those voters who prefer smiles over glasses! In other news:

Ancient Egyptian homosexual lovers or Egyptian-Siamese twins?

I have another letter to the local newspaper.

Mummy is enjoying herself now that her ribs have healed. Tonight she is busy knitting me a red wool hat.

9:00 PM and I'm yawning like crazy. My sleep cycle is way off after eight weeks of fieldwork. I'll be glad to go back into the office for a while.

Your vote counts! Help me pick out a new photo for the little box on the right. The comment section awaits your votes. Please, no hanging chads.

Picture A.


Picture B.

At the ground-breaking ceremony people clapped loudest (and made various excited noises) when I was thanked for the archaeology work I've been doing on Tucson's Spanish fort. I blushed. The gold painted shovels with bright gold and red bows were splendid.

The mayor and others.

As I was waiting to be interviewed for a live promo spot, the reporter mentioned that the other story he was working on was how no movie theaters in Tucson are playing Brokeback Mountain because it is considered too controversial..... What the fricken fuck???!!!

At home tonight I made Lemon Tea Cookies for the annual cookie exchange. While the second batch was baking I took these photos of my Holiday Tree, decorated with 1940s cards (many of which say "Happy Holidays" and make no mention of Christmas).

The white star was my great-grandmother Maybelle's (she died in 1951). The little pipe cleaner Teddy Bear was made by Steve at the party on Sunday.







My mother made dinner tonight (first meal she has cooked since arriving on November 22). Boiled potatoes and carrots. Apparently, these must be boiled until they are mush. After a half hour I said, "Mummy, don't you think they are done?" She stepped into the kitchen and poked at them and then came back. "Well, the potatoes are done but the carrots are still hard so I'm going to boil them some more." After ten minutes I got up and turned the stove off. I'm pretty sure whatever nutritional value they might have had disappeared in those 40 minutes. This was basically what I ate growing up- pressure-cooked meat and vegetables. It is a wonder I didn't get rickets or scurvy or some other rare and unusual malady.

Finally finished the post-party cleanup at my house. I need to get away from Mummy for a few hours to buy her some presents. She says she doesn't need or want anything, but I know she would appreciate a few presents on Christmas Eve. Anyone have suggestions on what to buy a 73-year-old mother?

I was featured in a newspaper article yesterday. Tomorrow is the ground breaking ceremony at the place I'm digging at. The mayor and city council and various other important folks. I wonder if they will send any cute reporters.

I'm trying to remember favorite Christmas presents from when I was a child:

- The Winnie the Pooh game.

- The Visible Man skeleton/organ model. I LOVED that one.

- The GI Joe trunk with lots of accessories. I still have that one.

- The plastic caveman/dinosaur playset I picked out of the Sears catalogue when I was twelve.
- a rock tumbler


Least favorite:

- snowpants
- a suede jacket that I insisted my sister return (in my family no one had ever returned a present before)

Sometimes watching the evening news makes me so angry. Even with my mother here I cursed at the telly- "Fuckwad" to George Bush, "Piece of fucking shit" to "Killer" Arnold S., "Fucking Bush clone" to the Prime Minister of Australia. In California a man is to be executed for killing three people. Meanwhile, Our Beloved Leader admits that at least 30,000 Iraqis have died as a result of his little play war. Please note that Iraq has one-tenth of the US population. How would we feel if a country invaded us and 300,000 people died? So who is the worse criminal? Why aren't the Christian "Right-to-Lifers" screeching about all of those deaths?

Another thing that pisses me off. Circumcision. What a disgusting practice. "Hey, lets cut the end of a little boy's penis off!" Who thought of that? It is just plain weird. As Beaverhausen has noted a couple of days ago, half of the boys born in the United States today are escaping the knife. Too bad that the majority of guys in my generation got mutilated by doctors and weirdo-American parents.

So what is pissing you off today?

The party was nice, although I ran around like crazy. I think there were about 56 people in attendance.


The spread.

I made too many cookies, people at work will be eating them tomorrow.

Elondra.

There were some cute guys including one I'd like to go on a date with.

Jim and Peter.

Many ornaments were crafted. The crafters, however, made a mess of my bedroom and study.

Rob J., Lisa, and Tylia show off their crafts.

As usual, Mark did the best cookies.

A completed plate.

I'm going to bed early.

Preparations continue... The cranberry upside down cake is in the oven. Shopping is 3/4 completed. While the cake baked I wired various conifer branches to a stick wreath (which was amazingly enough, made in the USA!) and then hung bright Mexican candy containers shaped like fruit.


Holiday wreath, 2005.

After lunch, yardwork.

My mother behaved herself at the tree lot and perhaps that is why the tree was cheaper than last year. The hottie tree salesman was very helpful, perhaps if he had offered to come over for a holiday tree erection it would have been better, but I'm not complaining.

Minutiae- the tree trunk was too big for the stand so I used a galvanized bucket and wired the tree to my windows. I had to bring the water hose inside to fill the bucket, that was a first.

Brady came over and helped decorate. He was in charge of the balls and they were well hung, except for one that dropped and exploded.


Brady as ornament.

After the tree was completed, I channeled Martha and made a holiday wreath around the antique mirror hanging above my fireplace.

Mirror wreath.

Today is cleaning/cooking/yardwork day. I'm tired just thinking about it.

Is it 9:44 already? The day just flew by, I am so busy lately. At the dig the guys are working in the large trash-filled pit dating to the 1890s.

Screening dirt and digging.

The base of the pit contains a lot of nice artifacts.

Gaylen digging.

One of the items we found today was a stoneware ink bottle from Amsterdam that was over a foot tall.

Brown stoneware ink bottle, glass bottle, doll leg, and cattle bones.

I attended a meeting and rushed home to make onion soup, chatting with Archerr on the phone on the tedious drive. Luckily, Archerr makes any drive less tedious.

Onion soup.

Jeffrey came over and he had soup and salad with Mummy and I. Afterwards he helped me immensely in the making of Holiday cookies.

Jeffrey cutting cookie dough.

I had to carefully monitor the baking because my oven is still not working very well.

Baking in the Visibake oven.

After making about eight dozen or so we sat in the living room and chatted. Jeffrey admired my newly upholstered dining room chairs.

Red upholstery.

It is now 9:57 and I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is another busy day!

Vital statistics:

Age- 42
Driver's license expiration date- 2028
Height- about 6' 1 1/2"
Weight- 195
Waist- 32 to 33
Shirt size- M to L
Hair- brown, balding on top
Eyes- hazel
Teeth- 27

States visited- 46
Countries visited- 8
Favorites- Hawaii, Glacier Park in Montana, a small mountain village in Greece

Times I have been in love- 3 or maybe 4
Would I do it again- yes

Favorite food ingredient- chocolate
Second favorite- vanilla
Third favorite- strawberries

Did George and Condi tell the truth "The United States does not torture."= Fuck no.

I'm going to go with Mummy to the tree lot on Friday and buy a Holiday Tree [please note, I am so over Christmas]. My mother will predictably say the same two things she has said the last two years: "When we lived on the farm trees were free!" and "Oh my, that is so expensive!" My mother has reached that stage in her life where everything seems expensive. The other day she looked at the Good Housekeeping magazine I bought her and she announced, "This used to cost seven cents!" In which century was that price valid?

When I was a kid I dreaded putting up the tree. Yes, we would go cut one down in the woods, and it was free. Once back in the house my father had to be in charge of putting it up and he always got pissed off and would shout and curse. Like clockwork. I'm so glad that holiday custom didn't pass on to me, although if my mother tells me like clockwork "That's so expensive!" I might start swearing...

I was all Martha today. Mummy (who is almost back to normal except for typical older-female problems) and I went to various craft and fabric stores. Later I re-upholstered my dining room chairs in a red fabric with swirling flowers. Mummy made new gold curtains for the dining room, using tableclothes I purchased on sale. Then Doug K. came over and mounted my new mirror in my bathroom. It is Homer-height, so vertically-challenged people may be challenged by its placement. I then completed the Holiday ornaments for the Holiday Tree I'll be purchasing this coming Friday.

Afterwards I journeyed to karoake. My buddies Patrick G., Brady, and Panchesco were there. I had a super time, but won't be singing Copa Cabana ever, ever, ever again.

Patrick G.

Panchesco.

David C., Peter, me, and Brady.

We sang, sometimes badly; drank cheap beer, and most people inhaled. I also saw two penises. It was a nice afternoon. Afterwards I came home and made nachos and sat with all three cats on my lap.

A rather nice day, don't you think?

Avi and Kristen's wedding was in a small adobe church built in 1932. We sat in wooden pews as the ceremony took place.

Chapel.

Everyone laughed when Avi's grandfather told a story about Avi's bris ceremony.


Avi and Kristen.

Afterwards the reception was lovely, with Turkish food (really excellent baklava). The wedding cake was lemon flavored.


Wedding cake.

In contrast, today was better, but not perfect. Mummy feelt better in the morning, but by this afternoon the pain pills had made her nauseous. I suggested she cut them in half and take half instead of a whole pill. I'm waiting to see if that works. She is still better than she was yesterday.

At work things are progressing. We have been digging a large trash-filled pit in the backyard of the 1860s-1870s house. The pit was probably dug about 1880 and then subsequently filled with trash. We are getting quite a few museum quality artifacts out of the lowest portion of the pit. One of which, a hard-rubber smoking pipe bowl.


Goat pipe.

I wonder if Patrick G. has a pipe like this?