Friday, July 15, 2005

If one more person asks me why I don't have a boyfriend, I swear I will do something (exactly what is unclear, let me get back to you on that). I get THE question all the time, sometimes from people who read my blog, sometimes from people here in Tucson. Let's be clear, I'd love to have a nice boyfriend. In the past, I've been a very good boyfriend. In the future, I plan on having another. Presently, however, I am boyfriendless and, despite a great deal of effort, that doesn't appear likely to change tomorrow.

Why? Lots of reasons or excuses or whatthefuckevers.

- Tucson is a medium sized city with a small gay community.
- Many suitable guys in my desired age range (35-46) have boyfriends already.
- Many more within the desired age range have moved away.
- Many guys don't go out. The online thing doesn't work. I've looked into it. It doesn't work. I prefer to meet guys in person. That way you can sort out the liars and freaks more easily, especially at karoake on Sunday afternoons.

I am somewhat picky about guys I want to date. I am interested, mostly, in guys who meet the following criteria:

- have a job with a regular income or at least the skills/potential to do so.
- have a car that can get from point A to point B.
- speak English.
- have an interest or hobby. Watching television is neither.
- meets certain physical perimeters (like what? I know what I like when I see it).
- is not a racist, woman-hater, Republican, or greedy.
- does not lie or steal (see Republican note above).
- is not a crack whore. Well maybe a hot crack whore.... no, forget that.

If you feel the need to email me and ask me why I don't have a boyfriend, well, why not find one or two candidates for me. Here is a not-work-safe example of the kinda guy I am NOT interested: Example.

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