Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I wish I had one of those self-cleaning houses. You know the ones where you turn a knob and those little robots come out and scoot around and suck up all the cat hair and dust and spray little spritzes of good smelling stuff in the spots that are bad smelling.

I wish I had purchased those ever-lasting flowers, the ones that never stop blooming and have a real powerful smell that penetrates window glass and covers up the smell of yesterday's beans. The ones that when you cut them and put them in a vase they grow back and help prevent global warming by taking in all that carbon dioxins. Alas, when I took the coupon to the store then gave me one of those rain things and told me to come back in 2016.

I wonder why I didn't buy that bottle of Hair-Stay when the Fuller Brush man came by my house. If I had my hair would be long and luxurious and gleam so bright you could floss your splendid teeth in the reflection. I'd have sprayed some of the Hair-Stay on Puff and Joey and Mama Cat and Mollie and their hair would gleam as well. Instead we all seem to be shedding at the same time and Puff and Mollie both have annoying dandruff.

I'm certainly glad I didn't go hunting Quayles with the Vice President. Although I never cared much for Dan or Marilyn, it just seems unseemly to release them on some big ranch in south Texas and hunt them down as they frittered through the under brush. I mean, he was the first Bush's VP, after all.

What do you regret?

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