Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Tofu will make your cock shrink and grow man-tits. This is according to James Rutz, chairthing of MegaShit Ministries. It can also turn you into a simpering effete fagmo because soy has so many mega-powerful female-mones. I should know, I've had tofu on more than one occasion. And look at me, gosh, my wrists are so limp I'm signed up for a pisiform-greater multiangular-capitate transplant.
Educational moments, courtesy of Wikipedia: Tofu is made by coagulating soy milk and pressing the resulting curds. Although pre-made soy milk may be used, most tofu producers begin with their own soy milk, which is produced by soaking, grinding, boiling, and straining dried (or, more rarely, fresh) soybeans.
FYI: In Chinese, the term "to eat tofu" (吃豆腐) is a commonly used euphemism for implying the unsolicited groping of a woman's breast or other body parts. And: Also in the Cantonese language, the term "mash tofu" is slang term for lesbian sex.
If tofu is so goddam awful, why isn't it included in the list of prohibited unclean foods in Leviticus?
Personally, I know tofu and other soy products are Satan's curse because if I open my somewhat feminine lips, masticate those tainted substances with my prissy teeth, and then swallow them into my very homosexual innards, the MOST AWFUL GASSEOUS EXPLOSIONS EVER take place. I am not exagerating here. You don't want to be in neighboring states or standing on the San Andreas Fault after I eat tofurkey or soy ice cream. The seismometers at the University starting vibratin' and the scientists sigh, "Oh, Homer had Chinese food again!" The smell makes my cats leave the room, probably because they are aware that just breathing in the gas will make them super femmy pussies.
So yeah, I don't need some nitwit Xtian telling me soy/tofu is/are evil, I already knew that.
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Educational moments, courtesy of Wikipedia: Tofu is made by coagulating soy milk and pressing the resulting curds. Although pre-made soy milk may be used, most tofu producers begin with their own soy milk, which is produced by soaking, grinding, boiling, and straining dried (or, more rarely, fresh) soybeans.
FYI: In Chinese, the term "to eat tofu" (吃豆腐) is a commonly used euphemism for implying the unsolicited groping of a woman's breast or other body parts. And: Also in the Cantonese language, the term "mash tofu" is slang term for lesbian sex.
If tofu is so goddam awful, why isn't it included in the list of prohibited unclean foods in Leviticus?
Personally, I know tofu and other soy products are Satan's curse because if I open my somewhat feminine lips, masticate those tainted substances with my prissy teeth, and then swallow them into my very homosexual innards, the MOST AWFUL GASSEOUS EXPLOSIONS EVER take place. I am not exagerating here. You don't want to be in neighboring states or standing on the San Andreas Fault after I eat tofurkey or soy ice cream. The seismometers at the University starting vibratin' and the scientists sigh, "Oh, Homer had Chinese food again!" The smell makes my cats leave the room, probably because they are aware that just breathing in the gas will make them super femmy pussies.
So yeah, I don't need some nitwit Xtian telling me soy/tofu is/are evil, I already knew that.
