Monday, January 11, 2010

So today a judge in California is hearing arguments about whether the California constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage is legal or illegal. And this morning I followed a link from Joe.My.God's blog and read a piece written by a woman who blogs as "The Barefoot Bride."

Rebekah is planning her upcoming nuptials in July and writes entries on a variety of wedding-related topics. She received her latest copy of Martha Stewart Weddings and wrote a blog entry:

However, I feel I would be remiss if I did not share my great disappointment with the current issue. As part of the large portion of the population who strongly believes marriage should be between one man and one woman, I was rather taken aback to see a homosexual wedding featured in the Winter 2010 issue. I may not always agree with the lifestyles and life choices made by all the people featured in every publication I read, but I do not appreciate picking up my favorite magazine to see photographs of homosexual couples being affectionate. For someone who believes that same-sex marriage is wrong, such articles and/or photos are offensive – and something I certainly would never knowingly pay money for. [note, I bolded things in the quote.]

She goes on to encourage people to contact the magazine to ask them not to have same-sex marriages featured, because the majority of Americans are against such marriages (in her opinion).

Later, she adds a post-script to her entry: I just wanted to clarify that I don’t hate homosexuals. I actually know a couple gay and lesbian people and they’re great folks. This, however, does not mean that I agree with their lifestyle choices. I don’t un-follow Twitter feeds or unsubscribe from great blogs just because the writer believes that same-sex marriages are fine – differences are differences. However, as a paying customer of Martha Stewart Weddings, I would like to be able to read the magazine without having to see photos of homosexual couples being intimate.

In a second note, she states that she is a Christian and that I do ask that you refrain from attacking my beliefs.

The initial comment I left was a reaction to her saying "I just wanted to clarify that I don’t hate homosexuals. I actually know a couple gay and lesbian people and they’re great folks." My response: "Back in the 1960s a lot of Ku Klux Klan folks knew great Negroes too, as long as they kept in their place and didn't clamor for the same rights that the Bible granted White folks."

But really, this blog entry had me thinking a lot. It bothered me greatly. Maybe it was because this young woman has entry after entry blabbing about what she perceives as great wedding ideas. It is a nice idea for a blog, if you planning to get married, I guess, and are into the whole "Let's make this a huge event" sorta thing.

And then suddenly she turns out to be a fairly nasty person determined to ruin the happiness of other people. You know, the kind of person who isn't ashamed to say shit like, "Faggots are alright, as long as they are not intimate or show affection. They shouldn't ever be allowed to marry and no photographs of them affectionately touching, ever!" I guess she hasn't watched a lot of gay porn (affectionate touching!).

I don't really know people who would dare to express these sort of opinions in public to me. I guess that is because I live in Tucson (liberal!), work in a highly educated field (science!), and I am not the least fucking bit ashamed of being a fudge-packing homo, and if you start yapping anti-homo stuff around me, I am not the least fucking bit afraid of walking up to you and telling you to shut-the-fuck-up.

Someone alerted the young grooms and one, Jeremy, has a blog, and left several comment on Rebekah's blog, including a link to their wedding photos. He told her: "I'd love to hear your thoughts, and share them with my readers. Let's have an open discussion about why my rights as a tax-paying citizen should be denied by personal religious whims."

I thought about this as I drove to and from the sandwich shop, where I picked up a delicious gluten-packed concoction, not suitable for wedding reception because the balsamic vinegar would stain your ivory taffeta Empire-style gown with mutton-chop sleeves, and I left her a second comment:

"The more I think about your blog post, the more I keep coming back to the very basic thing I was taught about weddings. When someone tells you that will be or have been recently married, the only proper response is "Congratulations." Anything else, no matter what you think of the situation, is just bad manners.

The fact that you felt compelled to describe someone else's marriage as "offensive" reflects very, very poorly upon you as a human being. You need to spend some time thinking about this. Perhaps you should seek out some of those gay and lesbian people you claim to know. Ask them what their goals and dreams are. I am guessing you will find they are very similar to your own.

Really, I can't express how disagreeable it must have been for the men covered in that article to have you, a total stranger, describe their wedding as "offensive." How would you feel if people did the same to you in describing your wedding?"

Anyways, I would never dream of criticizing someone's wedding plans, their choice of canned green beans at the buffet, that interesting bridesmaid's "dress," or the fact that while attending one wedding I wondered to myself, silently and without moving my lips, whether it would last (it didn't). And every time someone I know has been married I make a point of stating "Congratulations" with a hearty tone and always give a nice gift (twice paying for the cake and once for the hair and makeup) because that is the proper thing to do. I certainly hope Rebekah has a nice, memorable wedding, and I wish her well. I also hope she opens her eyes and realizes that there is a whole, huge world out there with different people, some wonderful and many not.

Newer›  ‹Older

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

comments powered by Disqus