Saturday, January 24, 2004

I revived the economy today! I purchased a new washing machine, two pairs of pants, and three pairs of socks. As a result, I completely erased our country's annoying $500 billion dollar deficit! While at Sears, I discovered the missing Iraqi weapons of mass destruction hidden in a Kenmore refridgerator! Amazingly, I also caught Osama bin Laden in the dressing room at Old Navy. He was trying on the last large light blue oxford shirt. A bunch of half naked FBI agents burst out from the dressing rooms where they were being fitted for boxer shorts. They hauled Osama away, although the agents really wanted to stop at Abercrombie & Fitch and ogle the larger-than-life sized wall porn.

I went to the White House to collect my bounty money and walked in on George and Dick as they were making toys for Laura and Lynne. George was mad because Dick's "toy" was bigger. I told him, "George, you'll always be the biggest dick I know." The two dudes had decided to go fight "enema" terrorists. I had to explain that they should be looking for enemy terrorists instead.

Afterwards I went to Coldstone Creamery and had cookie dough ice cream with Mark, and Corky, and Wayne. We ran into Adam and Panchesco, who were putting a few too many toppings on their dessert. It was the best day ever!!!

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