Friday, December 20, 2013

Let's make caramelized onions.

First buy a bunch of onions on sale, some cider vinegar, and a big bag of sugar. Also go to Ace Hardware and buy canning jar lids.

Chop up a lot of onions.

Some of them made me cry.

During the two days that I have been doing this New Mexico and Utah became the latest states legalizing same sex marriage. I wonder if Brian Brown is blubbering away?  

Put the onions, four cups sugar, three cups cider, and two teaspoons salt in your big pot and turn on the gas. The kitchen fills with steam.

Starting to cook.

The house is already overheated because my mother has her electric heater on 24-hours-a-day in the living room and huddles under her electric heating pad. It is so hot I have to walk around in a t-shirt. Buddy likes sitting there, all warm. I have to send him outside with a piece of cheese so he can go to his doghouse.

Cooked down.

I add more onions as the liquid evaporates. Then they cook down until they are dark brown. Tonight Mummy criticized my onions, because they were not dark enough. "I'm going to find a better recipe." I did not take this kindly. I told her I was sensitive about being criticized, "When you are a teenager and your father tells you repeatedly you are a worthless piece of shit, you tend to be sensitive." She said, "If I had known how much like his mother he turned out to be, I would never have married your father."

Arthur sent me an awesome lid holder- no more burned fingers for me! Thank you Arthur! XOXO (This will likely be the best Holiday present I get this year).

Arthur's lid holder.

I used my old canning kettle instead of the new pressure cooker that someone gave me as a mystery gift for my birthday (I have no clue who sent me that awesome present, was it you Arthur?). I sterilized the jars first, before pulling them out, filling them, wiping the rim, seating the lids, and screwing the rings on (gosh, that sounds dirty!).


Twenty four cups of onions makes nine pints (seven jars) of caramelized onions.

The lids go pop!

Well this is what a lonely gay man does on a Friday night before a major set of holidays.

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