Wednesday, November 05, 2003
My dinner with Reggie. Reggie is in town from Orange County so of course we had to go out and eat somewhere. I decided the Grill would be appropriate. It is a funky diner downtown. Peeling unicorn mural and slightly eccentric staff. I had Spinach ravioli in herbed sauce. Yummy! Reggie enjoyed a tuna melt sandwich. We chatted, discussed our mutual dislike of all things Bush-like, and generally had a relaxing, though fattening, meal.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Panchesco's imaginatory. Richard has the most exciting imagination of anyone I have met. When the spirit moves him and he publishes his prose I squirm in my seat. My heart beats a little faster. It is better than drugs. Today's offering was stunning. How does he do that?
Read Richard's story . It made me want to write a response. Perhaps I captured a small bit of his creativity, I don't really know.
At the observation window, I watch as the patient squirms, shrieks, thrusts his hands over his eyes to ward off the imagined venom. I turn to Dr. Vidal and watch her reaction.
“Fascinating,” she murmurs, “Does he always do this in the morning?”
‘Yes, from about eight to eight fifteen, then he abruptly stops, sobs for a few minutes with his hands held close to his eyes. Then, in a short while, he pretends to be drawing. That occupies several hours.”
"And this happens every day?”
“Yes, it has been continuous for three months.”
“Fascinating.” Vidal cocks her head to one side. The patient has begun to “draw,” one
hand balancing a “tablet,” the other a “stylus.” “How closely are you recording the movement of his hand?”
“We are not particularly focused on that. It’s just part of his overall hallucination.” She
frowns and tilts her head forward, the scarf covering her hairless scalp rubbing against the one-way glass.
“Technician?” she calls out. From behind us a white-clad psychology graduate student
appears, eager to be of use. “Focus the camera on the patient’s right hand. I want a computer analysis of the movement in real time. Let’s see what he is drawing.”
A few long, dull minutes pass as the technician feeds instructions into the mainframe. The first attempt fails, the computer following a spot to high. The third attempt meets with success, and on a white, blank computer screen lines begin to form. The image is unintelligible, a result of our catching him halfway through the process. The next drawing is fearful in its intensity, its horror, a blindingly evil scene. I gasp.
The sketch, the masterpiece- a dozen contorted worms writhing in ecstasy, holding tubular instruments from which delicately veined leaves cascaded. In the background loomed tall, jagged-toothed mountains. A bridge-like structure, from which a dozen chrysalises hang in pairs, is visible on the left. On the right is a nightmarish scrawl, the text of the patient’s hallucination. The following drawing is no better, in fact I would rank it as fouler if it was possible to quantify such a thing.
“Amazing,” Vidal says. She glances at me, amused at how pale I’ve grown. “So how is he doing that?” she asked.
"Doing what?” I feel like retching as the new drawing materializes, a chrysalis blooming
with a creature that was all openings and closings.
“He has no paper, no pen, and yet the movements of his hands and the corresponding
image that is created is perfect. Those sketches are so detailed, so intricate.” She motions toward a portion of the screen. ‘Notice how he returns to shade some portions long after he worked in that area. It’s impossible.”
“It is impossible.” I say. A deep-seated fear gnawed at me, something that had always
troubled me from the moment I met the patient.
“Or, it is not impossible, it is entirely plausible.” She looked back at the patient, who was
beginning another drawing, this one a landscape of arched rock formations upon which tall, cylindrical hives formed. The picture was brief, the written section dominating much of the space, a description of a scene found on some other world. “He’s here, and yet he thinks he is there. I’ve seen it before. Mental transportation, mental kidnapping. Handless entities- how they covet our fingers.”
“You think it is real? He’s not crazy?”
“Oh, he’s crazy all right. That’s how they get in to a mind. Sometimes you can save them, if you get into their heads in time and sever the switch. But this one has gone on to long. And now he’s ruined. A few more months of this, the cerebellum turns to mush, the eyes degrade, the voice is lost. He’ll be an interesting autopsy.” Her scarf slid back, revealing a long, sinuous scar, faint crosshatching from expertly arranged stitches.
“Any other interesting cases?”
Read Richard's story . It made me want to write a response. Perhaps I captured a small bit of his creativity, I don't really know.
At the observation window, I watch as the patient squirms, shrieks, thrusts his hands over his eyes to ward off the imagined venom. I turn to Dr. Vidal and watch her reaction.
“Fascinating,” she murmurs, “Does he always do this in the morning?”
‘Yes, from about eight to eight fifteen, then he abruptly stops, sobs for a few minutes with his hands held close to his eyes. Then, in a short while, he pretends to be drawing. That occupies several hours.”
"And this happens every day?”
“Yes, it has been continuous for three months.”
“Fascinating.” Vidal cocks her head to one side. The patient has begun to “draw,” one
hand balancing a “tablet,” the other a “stylus.” “How closely are you recording the movement of his hand?”
“We are not particularly focused on that. It’s just part of his overall hallucination.” She
frowns and tilts her head forward, the scarf covering her hairless scalp rubbing against the one-way glass.
“Technician?” she calls out. From behind us a white-clad psychology graduate student
appears, eager to be of use. “Focus the camera on the patient’s right hand. I want a computer analysis of the movement in real time. Let’s see what he is drawing.”
A few long, dull minutes pass as the technician feeds instructions into the mainframe. The first attempt fails, the computer following a spot to high. The third attempt meets with success, and on a white, blank computer screen lines begin to form. The image is unintelligible, a result of our catching him halfway through the process. The next drawing is fearful in its intensity, its horror, a blindingly evil scene. I gasp.
The sketch, the masterpiece- a dozen contorted worms writhing in ecstasy, holding tubular instruments from which delicately veined leaves cascaded. In the background loomed tall, jagged-toothed mountains. A bridge-like structure, from which a dozen chrysalises hang in pairs, is visible on the left. On the right is a nightmarish scrawl, the text of the patient’s hallucination. The following drawing is no better, in fact I would rank it as fouler if it was possible to quantify such a thing.
“Amazing,” Vidal says. She glances at me, amused at how pale I’ve grown. “So how is he doing that?” she asked.
"Doing what?” I feel like retching as the new drawing materializes, a chrysalis blooming
with a creature that was all openings and closings.
“He has no paper, no pen, and yet the movements of his hands and the corresponding
image that is created is perfect. Those sketches are so detailed, so intricate.” She motions toward a portion of the screen. ‘Notice how he returns to shade some portions long after he worked in that area. It’s impossible.”
“It is impossible.” I say. A deep-seated fear gnawed at me, something that had always
troubled me from the moment I met the patient.
“Or, it is not impossible, it is entirely plausible.” She looked back at the patient, who was
beginning another drawing, this one a landscape of arched rock formations upon which tall, cylindrical hives formed. The picture was brief, the written section dominating much of the space, a description of a scene found on some other world. “He’s here, and yet he thinks he is there. I’ve seen it before. Mental transportation, mental kidnapping. Handless entities- how they covet our fingers.”
“You think it is real? He’s not crazy?”
“Oh, he’s crazy all right. That’s how they get in to a mind. Sometimes you can save them, if you get into their heads in time and sever the switch. But this one has gone on to long. And now he’s ruined. A few more months of this, the cerebellum turns to mush, the eyes degrade, the voice is lost. He’ll be an interesting autopsy.” Her scarf slid back, revealing a long, sinuous scar, faint crosshatching from expertly arranged stitches.
“Any other interesting cases?”
Election Day. I voted early to avoid the crowds. Wait, this is the United States where most people don't vote. As a result, special interest groups, like "Born Again Rectal-Openings" have gained much more power than their numbers deserve.
Here in Tucson the election is for mayor, three city councilpersons, two transportation initiatives, and an initiative to raise the salaries of the mayor and council. I voted yes on the last three- you get what you pay for, so the more money you pay politicians the more likely you will have someone with brains instead of the idiots who can afford to run because of family money or because they are retired.
Tom Volgy is the Democratic candidate for mayor. I had a meet and greet party for him at my house in May. He got my votes. As did the Democratic candidates for City Council. The Republican mayoral candidate is not a bad guy, but hasn't really done a whole lot. He's great at shaking hands.
The Republicans have also done some underhanded campaigning, getting around funding limits by having "independent" committees. One of the big backers of these committees is the biggest closet case car dealer in town. He funnels a great deal of money to Republican causes, while maintaining a heterosexual appearance. And a second house with his boyfriend. I don't get rich closet case Republicans. Tucson apparently has a whole bunch of them. Do they have themselves so much that they want to drag the rest of us down????
Go vote, it is almost as much fun as having a drink at IBTs during karoake.
Here in Tucson the election is for mayor, three city councilpersons, two transportation initiatives, and an initiative to raise the salaries of the mayor and council. I voted yes on the last three- you get what you pay for, so the more money you pay politicians the more likely you will have someone with brains instead of the idiots who can afford to run because of family money or because they are retired.
Tom Volgy is the Democratic candidate for mayor. I had a meet and greet party for him at my house in May. He got my votes. As did the Democratic candidates for City Council. The Republican mayoral candidate is not a bad guy, but hasn't really done a whole lot. He's great at shaking hands.
The Republicans have also done some underhanded campaigning, getting around funding limits by having "independent" committees. One of the big backers of these committees is the biggest closet case car dealer in town. He funnels a great deal of money to Republican causes, while maintaining a heterosexual appearance. And a second house with his boyfriend. I don't get rich closet case Republicans. Tucson apparently has a whole bunch of them. Do they have themselves so much that they want to drag the rest of us down????
Go vote, it is almost as much fun as having a drink at IBTs during karoake.
Monday, November 03, 2003
Buffy dream. Woke up with my heart pounding. Another Buffy dream. I was inside a house surrounded by vampires. My task- distract them with Xander while Buffy did something else. So Xander opens the door and we take turns staking vamps. The stake slides in rather easily, but sometimes you miss the heart and have to wiggle it to nick it. And then the vampires dissolve and the weight of their body lists off of the stake. Trippy. And the dream ends after I escape through a tunnel and we blow the house up loaded with vampires.
This year no Buffy and the two episodes of Angel that I have were dull. The new time is also inconvenient, so I will most likely be skipping that show unless I really have nothing better to do. And one goal of having a blog is to find better things, so maybe the plan of one hour of television a week will be followed through.
Hummus for dinner. I've got major garlic breath hours later.
This year no Buffy and the two episodes of Angel that I have were dull. The new time is also inconvenient, so I will most likely be skipping that show unless I really have nothing better to do. And one goal of having a blog is to find better things, so maybe the plan of one hour of television a week will be followed through.
Hummus for dinner. I've got major garlic breath hours later.
Sunday, November 02, 2003
Saguaro. Stewart came over around 3:30 and we drove over is his red Bronco to Saguaro Park West, which is located about 5 miles from my front door.
Saguaro forest.
We did a relatively short hike up a steep, switchback trail. At the top were a bunch of huge boulders casually stacked on top of each other. Stewart and I sat and talked. He had brought a thermos of hot tea, and we sipped tea from classy white porcelain cups.
Stewart, November 2003.
As we left it was getting dark, it is only early November and yet by 6:00 you need to use your headlights. It is still warm enough to wear shorts. That is one of the nice things about Arizona.
Sunset, Saguaro Park.
Saguaro forest.
We did a relatively short hike up a steep, switchback trail. At the top were a bunch of huge boulders casually stacked on top of each other. Stewart and I sat and talked. He had brought a thermos of hot tea, and we sipped tea from classy white porcelain cups.
Stewart, November 2003.
As we left it was getting dark, it is only early November and yet by 6:00 you need to use your headlights. It is still warm enough to wear shorts. That is one of the nice things about Arizona.
Sunset, Saguaro Park.
Saturday, November 01, 2003
Day of the Dead. In Mexico people generally go to cemeteries to clean and decorate graves, light candles, leave favorite foods and beverages, and have a picnic. Here in Tucson, Mexican families go out to Holy Hope Cemetery and do this. Many other people gather downtown for am elaborate and unusual procession through town.
Gavin and Kent held a party, with Kent erecting an altar and serving Mexican pastries, horchata, grapes, and chips and dip. I arrived at 3:30 and hung out with Kevin for a while as he melted chocolate and poured it into small skull molds.
Kevin and the chocolate skulls.
Shane arrived and headed to the bathroom to apply scary makeup. Curtis, Eric, Ian, Vince, and Brian were also there.
Shane as a demon.
I wandered over to the parade with Kyle, Jim, and Stewart. Now Stewart is someone I haven't met before. A smart, witty, charming, sexy man. He is interested in Islamic landscapes and architecture.
Stewart.
The parade was cool, some of the costumes were stunning as were some of the contraptions people had invented. A group of people mocking the Bush administration were very amusing. There was a stage set up at the end of the route where people did various things with torches and baskets of fire.
The Day of the Dead parade passes by.
Afterwards Stewart and I went and had Chinese food and spent some time talking. We wandered back to Kent's place and took up a lot of space on his couch. Stewart's getting a call from me today (it's after midnight at the moment).
Gavin and Kent held a party, with Kent erecting an altar and serving Mexican pastries, horchata, grapes, and chips and dip. I arrived at 3:30 and hung out with Kevin for a while as he melted chocolate and poured it into small skull molds.
Kevin and the chocolate skulls.
Shane arrived and headed to the bathroom to apply scary makeup. Curtis, Eric, Ian, Vince, and Brian were also there.
Shane as a demon.
I wandered over to the parade with Kyle, Jim, and Stewart. Now Stewart is someone I haven't met before. A smart, witty, charming, sexy man. He is interested in Islamic landscapes and architecture.
Stewart.
The parade was cool, some of the costumes were stunning as were some of the contraptions people had invented. A group of people mocking the Bush administration were very amusing. There was a stage set up at the end of the route where people did various things with torches and baskets of fire.
The Day of the Dead parade passes by.
Afterwards Stewart and I went and had Chinese food and spent some time talking. We wandered back to Kent's place and took up a lot of space on his couch. Stewart's getting a call from me today (it's after midnight at the moment).
Well Hungover. I ought to be sick, sick, sick after consuming a six pack of beer at Ray's party. And a slight headache and queasiness pervades my body. The liberal application of aspirin and a lot of water have apparently prevented post-bachanal syndrome.
Ray's party was fun, fun, fun. After handing out all of my candy in record time I hopped in the car and drove over to Jeffrey S's. We put on our costumes, Tuarag villager and Wog the Homo erectus, and went over to collect Jeffrey T., biker stud. Up to the foothills to Ray's elaborately decorated house. I don't know where he stores all of the Halloween stuff. A fair crowd with quite a few friends: Matt (cowboy), John P. (airman), Mark (himself), Rich (cake sniffer), Mark A. (Monty Python-esque lumberjack), Mike (himself) and so on. As the evening progressed I drank some beers, met some cute guys, kissed a sailor and a fireman, gave my number to a couple of people. My loincloth was slowly sliding down, but luckily I did not over-expose myself. Those people who commented all said I looked good. TJ drove me home and now six hours later I am a little tired and as I type this feeling just a tad nauseous.
Outside Cat is meowing "Where's breakfast?" so I need to start the day. My indoor cats had a vomit-a-thon last night while I was out and I've got to do some scrubbing to make the place look less like a horror house. I'll post some pics when they are sent to me.
Wog.
Ray's party was fun, fun, fun. After handing out all of my candy in record time I hopped in the car and drove over to Jeffrey S's. We put on our costumes, Tuarag villager and Wog the Homo erectus, and went over to collect Jeffrey T., biker stud. Up to the foothills to Ray's elaborately decorated house. I don't know where he stores all of the Halloween stuff. A fair crowd with quite a few friends: Matt (cowboy), John P. (airman), Mark (himself), Rich (cake sniffer), Mark A. (Monty Python-esque lumberjack), Mike (himself) and so on. As the evening progressed I drank some beers, met some cute guys, kissed a sailor and a fireman, gave my number to a couple of people. My loincloth was slowly sliding down, but luckily I did not over-expose myself. Those people who commented all said I looked good. TJ drove me home and now six hours later I am a little tired and as I type this feeling just a tad nauseous.
Outside Cat is meowing "Where's breakfast?" so I need to start the day. My indoor cats had a vomit-a-thon last night while I was out and I've got to do some scrubbing to make the place look less like a horror house. I'll post some pics when they are sent to me.
Wog.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
(the first post was originally on the 31st, but was lost and then replaced)
So I thought it would be fun to take Puff and Joey in to work. Jesus f'ing Christ. In the car they
screamed. All the way there. That's about 7.5 miles of screeching. And at work they hid and were unhappy. And on the way back home they screamed and meowed. It was a nightmare. There will not be another "Take Your Cat to Work Day" ever.
A couple of images from tonight. Toured the downtown Train Depot, which is being renovated by the City of Tucson. Came home and carved my pumpkin, using a Martha Stewart idea.
Tile, circa 1941.
Pumpkupine, 2003.
So I thought it would be fun to take Puff and Joey in to work. Jesus f'ing Christ. In the car they
screamed. All the way there. That's about 7.5 miles of screeching. And at work they hid and were unhappy. And on the way back home they screamed and meowed. It was a nightmare. There will not be another "Take Your Cat to Work Day" ever.
A couple of images from tonight. Toured the downtown Train Depot, which is being renovated by the City of Tucson. Came home and carved my pumpkin, using a Martha Stewart idea.
Tile, circa 1941.
Pumpkupine, 2003.
God damn politics. So much of what is going on in the United States seems to be borrowed directly from the Cold War era Communists. Double speak, the development of an oligarchy, locking up people without trials, spying on citizens, the demonization of minority groups. It seems that the Republicans have discovered that those hapless commies had a few useful tricks up their sleeves. It makes me very pessimistic about life in this country, especially if Stupidesident Bush wins election "again." I truly don't believe he was really elected to begin within. One wonders what would have happened had Gore won.
Geez, don't get me going as I think about things. The Anti-gay Marriage Amendment. According to Senator John Kyl, this is a state's rights issue. If Massachusetts allows gay marriage, then the other states would be forced to recognize gay marriages as well, as states must abide by other states laws, according to our Constitution. On my recent trip to DC, I asked Dan, an employee of Kyl's office, if banning all gay marriages wasn't actually reducing state's rights, since it would prevent states and other political entities from setting their own rules. He said yes, that was true. And when I pressed him on the issue he admitted that Senator Kyl was doing it mostly because of the votes he would garner from old retired people and religious folks. I told Dan that that was pathetic. And reminded him of finally-dead Senator Strom Thurmond, who was viewed by many (except Senator Lott) as pathetic and wrong for his segregationist views. Thirty years from now I think a lot of people will look at the whole anti-gay thing with amazement. I mean, why waste so much time hating other people. If you don't like homosexuals, you certainly don't have to be one.
Happy Halloween.
Geez, don't get me going as I think about things. The Anti-gay Marriage Amendment. According to Senator John Kyl, this is a state's rights issue. If Massachusetts allows gay marriage, then the other states would be forced to recognize gay marriages as well, as states must abide by other states laws, according to our Constitution. On my recent trip to DC, I asked Dan, an employee of Kyl's office, if banning all gay marriages wasn't actually reducing state's rights, since it would prevent states and other political entities from setting their own rules. He said yes, that was true. And when I pressed him on the issue he admitted that Senator Kyl was doing it mostly because of the votes he would garner from old retired people and religious folks. I told Dan that that was pathetic. And reminded him of finally-dead Senator Strom Thurmond, who was viewed by many (except Senator Lott) as pathetic and wrong for his segregationist views. Thirty years from now I think a lot of people will look at the whole anti-gay thing with amazement. I mean, why waste so much time hating other people. If you don't like homosexuals, you certainly don't have to be one.
Happy Halloween.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Munchie Melon coloring book, 1968.
This was my favorite coloring book when I was a kid. I don't know why, it is one of those goofy things you remember. The characters included farmer Munchie Melon, postman Cornie, grocery store owner Barnaby Banana, Doctor Pineapple, Fire Chief Sassie Strawberry, dance instructor Dilly Daisie, Rinkie Rose, and Sissie Sunflower.
I was also a big Winnie the Pooh fan, had PeeWee dolls, later graduating to GI Joe. I also liked little plastic animals and dinosaurs. In the days before computer games and cable television, I used a lot of imagination when I was playing. It is safe to say that things haven't changed a lot.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Cats. Not the musical, but my five cats. It has finally started to cool off in Tucson and the cats have decided that it is too cold. So when I sit down they run over to crawl onto my lap and absorb body heat. Even Bear, who is the shyest of the bunch, comes by.
Busy next few days- Open House at the Depot, which is being restored, Rich's pumpkin carving party, Halloween, Day of the Dead. I need to do some yardwork as well- trim trees and work on the potted plants. I'm actually looking forward to that. Not looking forward to doing the swamp coolers. I suspect that will be postponed until next week.
Princess as a kitten, May 2002.
Busy next few days- Open House at the Depot, which is being restored, Rich's pumpkin carving party, Halloween, Day of the Dead. I need to do some yardwork as well- trim trees and work on the potted plants. I'm actually looking forward to that. Not looking forward to doing the swamp coolers. I suspect that will be postponed until next week.
Princess as a kitten, May 2002.
Monday, October 27, 2003
Shane called at about 5:30 and we chatted for a while. "Come on over," he said. I had been washing dishes- anything to escape that chore was a relief. So I drove over and found him potting plants in his backyard. Shane is a landscape architect and his backyard has quite a few interesting things- a fig tree, a pomegranate, some succulents, lemon grass. He was filling big pots up with dirt and planting flowers. I had a beer while we chatted. Brian showed up and we talked about politics for a while. Then migrated indoors while they did their dishes. It was a totally relaxing, uneventful evening. And back home I am feeling content, knowing that I have cool friends to hang with and talk about the mundane things that we experience, puzzle over life, etc. I like good times like these.
Oh, and yesterday I made the greatest caveman outfit. I'll post a picture of it on the weekend.
Oh, and yesterday I made the greatest caveman outfit. I'll post a picture of it on the weekend.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Out of the closet. I've spent a couple of hours cleaning out the two closets in my study and dining room. Re-arranging boxes, picking out items for the thrift store. Finding a few forgotten things. The boxes inside contain all of the letters and postcards sent to me over the last 20 years- I am always hoping that one of my friends will become famous and I can send a bunch of stuff to the National Enquirer. Some of the things were painful to see- a few leftovers from the ex, a reminder of happier times. Other things brought back better memories- my favorite childhood coloring book, Christmas wrapping paper, my college diploma. And then there is the big box of old bills that I should sort through and shred, but I think that will wait for another day.
Last night went with Jeffrey S. and Jeffrey T. to a party up in the foothills. Clint has a house crammed full of books and art and a strange assortment of collected items (Victorian glass shoes, hippopotamuses, Rockwood vases). His beau Max has a super soft chinchilla- very, very cute. It was a nice, quiet evening.
Last night went with Jeffrey S. and Jeffrey T. to a party up in the foothills. Clint has a house crammed full of books and art and a strange assortment of collected items (Victorian glass shoes, hippopotamuses, Rockwood vases). His beau Max has a super soft chinchilla- very, very cute. It was a nice, quiet evening.
Saturday, October 25, 2003
I'm a fairly good cook, although I rarely follow recipes. I tend to make things up in my head. On one or two occasions I have utterly failed, inventing some nasty dish. Mostly whatever I cobble together is edible. Last night I made a stew out of onions, red bell peppers, mixed vegetables, sliced potatoes, tomato sauce, and cream cheese. Yum.
Went out briefly to Itty Bitty Titties, as Gavin likes to call IBTs. Saw a few people I knew, had some fun. Today helped out the historical group I am a member of by putting on a little archaeology display. The weather was very nice and we had a small but interested set of people show up.
Back home feeling laaaazzzzyyyy. Joey just came to sit on my lap. She was super naughty this morning, picking on Bear, and I had to yell at her. She has a short memory, though. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to forget things so easily.
Flower next to the old Smithsonian Castle, DC, 2003.
Went out briefly to Itty Bitty Titties, as Gavin likes to call IBTs. Saw a few people I knew, had some fun. Today helped out the historical group I am a member of by putting on a little archaeology display. The weather was very nice and we had a small but interested set of people show up.
Back home feeling laaaazzzzyyyy. Joey just came to sit on my lap. She was super naughty this morning, picking on Bear, and I had to yell at her. She has a short memory, though. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to forget things so easily.
Flower next to the old Smithsonian Castle, DC, 2003.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Payday. And because I am so good at paying my bills and saving retirement money I am basically broke. So two weeks of eating whatever food happens to be in the pantry. Luckily for the cats there is an entire bag of delicious cat food, which I have promised not to eat, since I would probably have the same reaction that Joey has when she licks milk out of my cereal bowl. Barf.
Thanks to George Bush's astounding economic success, the archaeology business is being to look increasingly bleak. I have about four months worth of work left. Several people I work with have much less. It is beginning to stress me out. Arizona pays very little unemployment compensation, so if I should get laid off my life would rapidly become a horrible nightmare. Bahhh, worrying is genetic in my family. I should focus on happy, rosy things instead of reality!
Thanks to George Bush's astounding economic success, the archaeology business is being to look increasingly bleak. I have about four months worth of work left. Several people I work with have much less. It is beginning to stress me out. Arizona pays very little unemployment compensation, so if I should get laid off my life would rapidly become a horrible nightmare. Bahhh, worrying is genetic in my family. I should focus on happy, rosy things instead of reality!
Thursday, October 23, 2003
The weather is still pretty hot here in Arizona. Right now it is about 70 degrees outside. The trees are blooming in my yard, making me sneezy. I'm ready for it to cool down.
Tonight went over to Mark and Matt's house to watch my weekly hour of television. Matt was off elsewhere. Mark and I had take out Chinese food. Singing in the Rain came on the telly and Mark pulled out his autographed photo of Gene Kelly and Fred Kelly, who once danced together. Now back home and catching up with email and playing with the cats. They are pretty happy to see me. It's nice to be home.
Tonight went over to Mark and Matt's house to watch my weekly hour of television. Matt was off elsewhere. Mark and I had take out Chinese food. Singing in the Rain came on the telly and Mark pulled out his autographed photo of Gene Kelly and Fred Kelly, who once danced together. Now back home and catching up with email and playing with the cats. They are pretty happy to see me. It's nice to be home.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
I wish. I wish, wish, wish, wish, wishy-wish. A while ago I wrote about having a crush. It is still there, less strong, more realistic. Reality sucks, 'cause it ruins a lot of dreams. Anyway, I have a little dream that relates to my last post. I'm hoping it comes true pretty soon.
Nightmare. I just awoke from a dream in which I was grocery shopping with Him and somehow He disappeared and I had to take the groceries over to His new place, where I met his new Asian girlfriend, who approved of my food selections immensely.
The dream was very intense and upsetting, touching on a lot of little things that still make me sad a year later. The loss of my best friend, loneliness, the niceties of domesticity,feelings of stability. And at 3:36 AM I feel like crying because I wish I had someone to buy groceries for. Isn't that absurd? And of course as I type this little miss Princess barfs on the floor next to me. Sigh. There are some things I could do without.
The dream was very intense and upsetting, touching on a lot of little things that still make me sad a year later. The loss of my best friend, loneliness, the niceties of domesticity,feelings of stability. And at 3:36 AM I feel like crying because I wish I had someone to buy groceries for. Isn't that absurd? And of course as I type this little miss Princess barfs on the floor next to me. Sigh. There are some things I could do without.
Monday, October 20, 2003
Quickly. I am rushing about trying to do two things at once. Procrastinating doesn't really pay off. So after a quick meal of veggie corn dogs and tater tots (I know, white trash but oh so yummy), I'm back to the library to finish gathering city directory listings for Menlo Park for the National Register nomination I am working on.
Got some good sociological history books at the University of Arizona library to read. Had to renew my community user fee- $40. Sucks. Members of the UA marching band- the percussion folks- were practicing outside. They were really good. I wonder why "drumming" hasn't become a cool thing for gay guys to do? But perhaps I'm just behind the times and they are already doing it.
Andy, a cute puppy at the University.
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Got some good sociological history books at the University of Arizona library to read. Had to renew my community user fee- $40. Sucks. Members of the UA marching band- the percussion folks- were practicing outside. They were really good. I wonder why "drumming" hasn't become a cool thing for gay guys to do? But perhaps I'm just behind the times and they are already doing it.
Andy, a cute puppy at the University.
