Homer'sWorld

They are yapping in the background. Why anybody is undecided at this point seems bizarre to me, those same people must spend forever at the grocery store choosing between Product A and Product B.

I'm still feverish, but perhaps not as bad as yesterday when I was out in 95 degree weather and actually felt cold.



1,000-year-old rock art.

Tomorrow I'm going to Lordsburg, New Mexico to attend an event where people bring in artifacts they think might be Spanish, and several of us identify them. It should be interesting, and getting out of Tucson for a couple of more days is great.

My symptoms:

Fever and chills
Sore throat
Achy everywhere
Sneezy
Dopey (from the anti-histawhatever, makes me Clumsy too)

Imagine wandering for two days through the desert, scratchy bushes everywhere, while trying to map historic millsites. Imagine doing so while really sick. Wouldn't recommend it, it is almost as bad as watching that lame-ass "debate" tomorrow. I'm going back to bed. Where's my teddy?

I'm coming out to Washington, DC for the week of October 19-26!!! Yes, that deserved three exclamation points. During the day I will be hard at work at the National Archives, searching for long lost historical documents. At night I will be available for high-priced escorting. Yeah, right. What is particularly exciting is that I've arranged this trip so that it coincides with the Blogjam: the Homo Speaks event so I will getting to meet some super guys including GeekSlut, Dogpoet, and Chrisafer. And of course that perfectly woofy Jimbo, who I'm begging to put me up for a couple of weeknights. I'm growing my beard out just for you, darlin'.

I know I whined a couple of days ago about friendship issues but we talked and everything is fine, just some misunderstandings. I shouldn't let things drag me down, but I value my close friends a lot. I used to have a hard time making friends, I think partly because of the difficulties of growing up queer in a small-small-small town. I was painfully shy and a follower in college. It wasn't until after I graduated that I decided that following people around didn't get you anywhere. Anyhoooo, the friends I have now are pretty special and I guess I value them a lot.

In other news, I'm off to Sierra Vista (aka Sorry Vista) for the next couple of days to map some millsites, so I'm without computer access. That is a strange thought, it has become such a part of my life.

I called Doug and suggested he accompany me for shopping therapy. I got a small bonus at work for having a journal article published. I set aside $75 to buy some new shirts. Doug assured me that he was an excellent shopper, and he came through exactly as stated. Man he knew right where the sales rack at Macy's was, knew that it was unbearable for me to buy two shirts from the same designer. They were having theeee most excellent sales (our economy is booming, yersirree, that's why a brand new shirt can be bought for $5.00). In the end I spent about $70 and brought home four shirts, a tee shirt, and three pairs of socks.



Purchases.

And you know what, shopping therapy is much funner than going to see some droopy shrink and discuss personal problems ad nauseum. It is much better to discuss those same problems while simultaneously scoping cute guys and making withering comments about the things some designers call "fashion."

Afterwards I ran to work, then over to Reuben's house where his adorable kittens Ping and Pong got their soft tummies scratched. Later to IBTs to meet up with Larry and David and Andrew and Richard was there, he has a photo exhibit up that I will be stopping and seeing tomorrow morning.

At home a bowl of cereal for dinner (the stove hasn't returned yet, a story I'm saving until next week). On the other hand, a new sink and toilet in the cat bathroom, thanks to Doug K.'s hard work.

Ice cream is supposed to make everything better, but I am still sad this afternoon. I spent an hour with a friend who is in town who I last saw in June. He tells me that he hasn't called me because he was mad at me. Apparently on his last visit I managed to offend him in some way. Honestly I don't remember doing so, what I do remember is getting his place ready before he came to town and hanging out with him. Maybe it was because I didn't go hiking with him or maybe...oh who knows. It was a big surprise and I guess I was supposed to apologize, but as far as I know there was nothing to apologize about. I mean if you can't remember it, how can you feel sorry about it?

So anyway, blah-blah-blah. It makes me fucking cranky, kinda cornered in a corner. And I was having a perfectly nice day before that. So fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Not my problem.

I went to a Korean restaurant for lunch because Jonny raves about their food. The woman running the place, a military wife, tried to get me to pick the BeBimBop but I wanted the more traditional cold noodles and vegetables. "You like hot?" she asked. "Well, yeah, moderately hot." I replied.

Four little bowls of pickled thingys came first. One was a bland sprouty thing. Blech. The second was slivers of radish. Not my style. The thinly sliced zuchini in pepper sauce- nice. The kimchee looked like nasty cabbage and tasted like nasty salty cabbage. Not a fan of that, I'm afraid (but then I don't really care for cabbage anyway). The main dish came, oh geez it was a huge platter. It was really good, but as I sucked down the noodles (I had to ask for a fork, I'm lame with the chopsticks) it began to get hotter and hotter. My lips swelled up to Courtney Love size. Finally I had to stop, as my throat began to burn as well. "Next time you try it not so hot." she said as I paid.

I'd spent the morning at Fort Huachuca, looking through old photos. Jimbo called me on the way there, asking when I was coming to DC. I haven't ironed the details out yet, but hopefully mid-to-late October. After finding the necessary photos I wandered down to the old mule barns, built in 1916. I'm writing a history of them, the army wants to tear some of them down.


Inside one of the barns.

Afterwards I took the long way back, traveling down State Route 82 between Sierra Vista and Nogales. The scenery was lovely, the sides of the road had bunches of wild sunflowers pushing six or eight or ten feet in the air.



Nearby cattle grazed next to a mountain range.



I had walked across the cattle guard and wasn't surprised to see a sign alerting people that cattle might wander out into the road.


I thought MAK would like this one.



I was in a good mood, a condition that lasted until I drove past the Border Patrol checkpoint and saw the dozen or more young Mexican men sitting on the ground, surrounded by officers. I wondered how many dreams had just been dashed, how much money wasted. The border between Arizona and Mexico has become such a death trap that the Border Patrol has even changed the way they count the dead (no skeletal remains get counted anymore) to try and pretty up the numbers. Of course it can take only a couple of days for a dead migrant to be skeletonized by coyotes and vultures, but that sweetly makes that individual uncountable.

I'm going to be busy the next couple of weeks with work- going to a museum to look at photos, mapping some old mill sites, attending a meeting where people bring artifacts in to be looked at. I am excited.


Yes, I really am excited.

I am obsessed with the Scissor Sisters album. Buy. It. I also ordered RuPaul's new album because he sent me an email asking me to do so. Actually, I think RuPaul is a super person, and that was reason enough. I also bought Rob's latest book.

Watched Lost last night. Who knew that Matthew Fox was such a fox? And on Tuesday the guys got together and cheered as Chip and Kim won the Amazing Race. I was so pleased that it wasn't the other crappy couples. I guess the Lord didn't want the young model Christians to win after all.

Only 39 days until Halloween. I really need to figure out what to wear this year. Last year was very successful as a caveman, especially as the loincloth slipped further down as the night progressed. In my drunken state I ended up making out with the sailor and the fireman, two of the three cutest guys at the party I was at (Patrick, who has the best moustache in Tucson, was the third cutest guy). However, this year I think I'll skip the six beers. I am a horrible lightweight when it comes to alcohol.

I wasted time at work trying to remember all of the costumes I've worn sinceI was a kid:

A rabbit (hand me down).
Gypsy girl (my mother thought this one up, I liked the hoop earrings).
Ghost (sheet with holes for eyes)
A colonial soldier (so 1976).
A vampire (yawn).
An abortion (coat hanger and red rain poncho, my roommate was dressed as a priest).
A used maxipad (woohoo, placed in the top 10 at the U of Michigan costume contest).
A lumber jack (yawn).
A Supreme Court nominee (business suit, black dildo hanging out, coke can).
A tossed salad (I dressed the bf as a Christmas tree).
White Trash (simple, just a white trash bag).
Wog the Homo erectus.


I
Homer as Wog, Patrick as a Shriner.

I think I'm going as a redneck this year, overalls and a ratty straw hat,maybe a couple of blacked out teeth.

Who were those women? Maybelle was my great grandmother, born in 1886. She died in 1951 from diabetes and heart problems, after leading an overworked life. Her husband liked having too much fun, so the burden fell on Maybelle to raise six children. My grandmother always felt anger towards her father for that. I understand, my own father was much the same. Maybelle had a dozen brothers and sisters- she was the oldest. Mildred never married and was apparently a bitter person, Myrtle married a wife beater and retreated into her own fantasy world at times. Their siblings had better lives, I think.

It is my friend David's 50th birthday. We were chatting Sunday and I noted that I've known him since he was 37- time flies.

So Martha is going to prison. You know, if I was a convict I would love to have Martha as a cellmate. We would have the prettiest cell ever.

The remnants of Hurricane Javier, which came up from the Sea of Cortez, are passing through Tucson. Two long rains, followed by one big rainbow.




A day spent with a backache- a sign of middle age or merely the use of some muscles in innovative ways? Cleaning the bathroom, which was pretty awful, is one way to forget about annoying pains. Lying in bed reading with Joey is another, posing for pictures with a freshly buzzed head.

On my birthday I did the foillowing:

1). got up early to watch bore holes being dug. Bore holes should be called boring holes.
2). went to work and actually did a little work.
3). bought the Scissor Sisters cd to see what the fuss is about
4). played Age of Mythology
5). coated the bathroom floor
6). attempted to replace the kitchen ceiling light. The insulation inside it fell on me and I got awful itchy
7). took a nap
8). talked to Oslynn, who shares my birthday (but is always 4 years older)
8). Ran into a friend, Tom F., that I haven't seen in 5 tyears. I am so happy to see him.
9). had dinner with Sandy, Mark, and Zane
10). and etc.

Thanks for all the nice words, it made me feel a tad better while having my usual birthday blues.

It's that time again. Not to be subtle or anything, but tomorrow is my birthday. Woohoo, I'm turning 41. Last year, if you check my Sept 03 archives, it was a big deal. This year, not. Wonder what kinda excitement the next year will have?

I saw John Edwards today. They had to turn people away at the door. Arizona's governor, Janet Napolitano, is going to be a president or vice president someday, I predict. Or maybe a Senator. She is cool. Edwards is warm, funny, charming. He is the anti-Cheney- he won't spend his time hiding in some dank hole plotting wars.

I should be putting stuff away but I'm awful lazy tonight, I may even go to bed early. My house is gradually returning to being comfortable- what a relief from the piles of stuff everywhere. Still a little work to be done, but getting close to being finished.

I did many things today. I finished painting the study- Marsh Green walls, Honey Beige Trim, and Yellow Coneflower book shelf.



The picture doesn't show the colors well, it was getting dark.

I went to the hot-college-boy-Safeway but there were no hot college boys. On the way home I saw they were demolishing the old Thrifty Block downtown, so I drove back fast with my camera. The Arizona Daily Star photographer made up for the Safeway experience- he was godawful cute. I remember the time he photographed me on a dig and I flirted with him. He took mug shots of each of us and I asked why. Turns out the newspaper keeps them on file in case we end up murdering someone or being killed in a car accident. Nice.



They peeled the facade off and there was this cool Art Deco building underneath.



Didn't last for long. I kept a brick.

The phone rings, it is Kevin telling me to come to karoake at IBTs. Once there Panchesco and I chased people around with our cameras.



Richard before he sang.

I saw the winker, who remembered me as Howard.



I think he is a Republican, sigh.

Richard and I swarmed around the lovely female impressionists, shouting "Look over here, ohmigod you look fabulous! Look this way, who designed your gown? Get out of the way Joan Rivers, you freeze-dried olde handbag!"




When I got home that smiling bug, some sorta praying mantis, was still hanging out at the light, cleverly looking for something to eat.

A crazy bug smiled at me when I got home.



A curious bug, one who smiles.

He was waiting next to the porch light, freshly hatched, and was casually reaching out for dinner among the other bugs drawn to the brightness.

I hung out with Sandy, Mark, and Zane. Mustn't forget Roger, who jumped up and down with excitement.


Roger.

We went and played miniature golf, something I have never done before. Zane was a little dangerous with the club. I kept hitting my ball into the bushes.




Zane and the cow.

The place generates a lot of money, but the management was cheap and most of the light bulbs were missing. A little dark, but perhaps the darkness kept away all of the interesting bugs. Instead they were sitting on the wall next to my front door, waiting for me when I got home.

Things I am afraid of:

Being lonely
People falling from high places
Incontinence
Amputation
Touching snakes
Dentures
Becoming obsolete
Falling in love with the wrong person, again
George Bush

I'm in love with Ms. Betty Butterfield. I came across her on Zenleo's website (oh, he is such a hotty and he doesn't even know it).



My dream date Betty.

I watch her little videos (Walmark and Funeral and Vietnam!) and laugh and laugh. Patti and Sarah noticed this at work today. "Why are you giggling?" I certainly wasn't giggling over the rotten animal smell inside the kitchen at work. An animal crawled into the wall or something and passed away and now we get to enjoy the fragrance. "Hello Mr. Dead Animal" we'll say as we run in and out of the kitchen as fast as we can. Actually it makes you less hungry, it's kinda like a new weight loss method. Poor old Mark though, he doesn't have a sense of smell so it will be wasted on him. And so on.

I haven't watched the new Amish reality show. Besides trying to limit tv time to a couple of hours a week, I really don't need to watch it. You see, my older brother Buck joined the Amish church back in 1996 or 1997, and so when I go back to Michigan to visit I get to participate in my own Amish reality show.

Buck is two years older than me and has always been a fraidy-cat. He was afraid of everything- always just so sure that some awful calamity would happen. If our parents were late getting home he just knew they had been killed in a terrible accident. I convinced him to get on a fair ride with me when he was about 14 (Salt n Pepper Shaker, I believe) and he screamed so hard they stopped the ride to let him off. Back in 1990 he and I and Mummy drove out to North Dakota to attend the opening ceremony at the rebuilt fort I had helped dig up. Whenever I drove he would grip the door and gasp out loud every time someone came by in the opposing lane. Finally I said, "You know, I've never been in an accident!" (actually, I shouted). His response, "There's always a first time!"

So joining the Amish was perfect for him. Everything is planned- church on Sunday, singing on Thursday nights, and so on. Technology, with a few notable exceptions, is stuck back in the 1850s to 1870s time range. They don't believe in paying interest so he was able to pay off his 20 acre farm in less than five years. He seems very happy and I'm pretty sure he hasn't spent a lot of time cruising the internet, since the Amish don't mess with computers.

Oh, and Amish men (except my brother who takes after my father) are generally hot. Lean, musclely, rosey cheeks, white teeth. At my grandmother's wake the only reason I didn't burst out crying was because I was distracted by the hot Amish guys, deciding which one would be best at comforting me. And those Amish guys are so fertile! My brother initially lived with Joseph and Mary (really!) and in eight years Mary has had seven or eight kids. Unfortunately, she named her sons LaVerne and LaWayne, I guess they didn't watch sitcoms in the 1970s or realize that those boys are saddled with inner-city kinda names.

Well anyway, I'm rambling. I'm happy for my brother and enjoy visiting him- he has goats and as Wayne would agree, goats are almost as cute as llamas. I even like feeding the pig. Rabbits are nice too but one of the baby ones peed on me and I really don't like being pissed on. Too bad there aren't some cute gay Amish guys, they have really charming accents too.

I'm such a fag. I listened to the Sound of Music soundtrack while putting things back in the kitchen. It is going to take a while though, everything is dusty and has to be washed.

As I type this Joey jumps up in my lap. She loves to sit there when I'm at the computer, looking up at me with her pretty yellow eyes. Sometimes she'll see something move on the screen and stare at it puzzled. She's getting fat, her little tummy gets bigger and bigger. In contrast, Puff and Mama Cat are sleek and lean.

That was exciting. I'm a little under-inspired tonight. Maybe watching the Amazing Race will get my blood going. Watching Henry Kissinger on the telly tonight certainly didn't. He should give up offering his opinion. No one cares, Henry, you are irrelevant. Madelaine Albright came across as smart and articulate. She rocks.

So I'm dreaming that someone was phoning me at 4:00 AM and I wake up and it is 12:36 AM and the phone is ringing. So I get up and stumbled through my competely disorganized house and find the phone and picked it up. From the other side there is party noise or maybe bar noise, you know, a jumble of voices and music. I yell "Hello?" and "Hello?" into the phone, but whoever is on the other side is either not answering or doesn't realize the phone is on. Later I check caller ID and see that it was the Ex who called. What the fuck was that about? I've talked to him once in the last four months. Maybe it was his repugnant friend P. playing mind games, who knows.

I went to Bob and Steve's party, they recently got hitched in Vermont. They are the sweetest guys in the world.


Bob and Steve's wedding cake.

I was awful tired so I was in bed by 9:30. Slept soundly until the annoying phone call. This morning I stained the kitchen floor, twice.



There are a couple of dark spots, two are from where someone set a hot pot down onto the floor and the third in front of the sink is where people stood a long time ago.

This afternoon Doug came over and we changed his car battery and I helped him put links on his weblog. We had fun driving around and talking a mile a minute.

Soooo tired. Who knew that sanding floors could wear you out. My shoulders ache from hanging onto the heavy edger machine, which would randomly jerk around as if possessed by some demon. After 10 hours of work the kitchen and bathroom floors are almost ready for the next step.

Last night's ill-fated paint selection- what was I thinking??? Bright green looks absolutely ugly the next morning. No picture, 'cause if you saw how ugly my gay card would get revoked. The study is getting a re-do next week, "Marsh Grass" (a kind of olive green). Hope it looks better than the mess currently on the walls.



Kitchen floor, before.


Kitchen floor after sanding, staining is tomorrow.

I'm trying to think of something, something to write about. But I have the biggest block going on, my creative side a tad stunted this morning. Let me go find a picture....



Oh look, here's Homer uncovering the rock foundation from a wall built sometime between 1790 and 1820. I've got a booboo on my elbow, wonder how that happened? This picture was taken by a Smithsonian magazine photographer (he was a hotty) but didn't make the photo editor's cut. Oh well. I'm wearing my Amish hat that my Amish brother gave me. I'll have to write about him sometime soon, knowing full well he'll never see it because the Amish don't have computers. Or electricity. Or indoor toilets.

I like that blue t-shirt and wonder what ever happened to it. Not hanging up in the closet. Which I need to organize a little better. Where's Mark when I need him? Oh, he's probably making out with his cute-as-heck boyfriend.

Speaking of cute guys, Ruggerjohnnyd meets that criterion.

I just finished watching a couple of videos from Geekslut's website. He is one cool guy, saying a lot of important things. In one of his videos/posts he talks about how gays bring value to neighborhoods- we turn the crack-whore neighborboods back from the brink. We create art and literature and make people look pretty and are archaeologists, teachers, computer specialists, write mortgages, sell houses, bake bread, and so on. And yet there is a large percentage of the population that don't value us, don't think we deserve the same rights. Like that Network movie, "I'm mad as hell..."

That could be taken either way I suppose, but I don't think I'm crazy. Some people drive me crazy though. At the monthly meeting of the non-profit I'm a member of someone had "old-person-smell." Blech, it got worse and worse, that stale stink. I dunno what causes it, just hope I never suffer from it when I get old.

Speaking of old, here is an old picture of me on our pony Babe with my sister Elizabeth.